Planet Valenti

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, APRIL 8, 2014) — Yesterday’s exclusive, wherein THE PLANET exposed the nature of troubled times ahead for The Boring Broadsheet, hinted at the newspaper’s only solution to remain viable. Get real and begin practicing journalism. It’s only hope is to wake up and […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, APRIL 7, 2014) — THE PLANET‘s sources within The Boring Broadsheet tell us that executives recently gathered to discuss the future of the newspaper in light of “an all-hands meeting” Wednesday afternoon in New York City at the headquarters of Digital First Media, The […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary SATURDAY NOTICE: CHECK OUT THE PLANET ON MONDAY. WE HAVE A STORY ON WHAT’S GOING ON AT “THE BORING BROADSHEET?” THERE ARE OMINOUS SIGNS. IS THE END NEAR? IS THE BB READY TO FOLD ITS NEWSPAPER? ONLY THE PLANET HAS THIS STORY. (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, FRIDAY, APRIL […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, APRIL 3, 2014) — “Equal opportunity for all” stands as the unreachable goal in America. The goal bespeaks of the high ideals set forth by the Founding Fathers. Yes, as an aside, we may in hindsight criticize the Founders for allowing slavery to […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary First of Three Parts (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2014) — Will Singleton says Pittsfield needs a new affirmative action policy. Will Singleton, well intended as he may be, is wrong. The city doesn’t need affirmative action. The simple reason is that affirmative action doesn’t work. […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 2014) — Here on THE PLANET, it’s another day but not and never  April Fool’s Day, a day whose insistence on pranks we’ve find cretinous. In Pittsfield, of course, it’s a day any aware and brain-alive person finds redundant. One of […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary BULLETIN! THE PLANET received word last night that “a second grader from Williams in Pittsfield died this morning.” Our source “had it on good authority” but “didn’t have any details.” We hope this spurs other media to investigate further.  ——- 000 ——- (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, MARCH […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEEKEND EDITION, MARCH 28-30, 2014) — With news popping like a Redenbacher kernal and saluted more than a redneck colonel, THE PLANET is tempted to fire buckshot in lots of directions. Scattered fire, however, will not suffice, and so we shall try to aim […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary ED. NOTE: THE PLANET presents this update to our coverage of the closing of North Adams Regional Hospital, which we added yesterday, pre-empting our existing story about our friend, the former nun. We’ve place today’s update as a preface to yesterday’s piece, which you may have missed […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26, 2014) — THE PLANET shall dispense of any arguments for or against a Creator, much less issue an opinion on the nature of the Holy Bible. The Book of Genesis has the most difficult job of all the books in The […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, MARCH 25, 2014) — THE PLANET will be the first to inform you of item #6 on tonight’s city council agenda: “A communication from Mayor Bianchi submitting an Order authorizing the City Treasurer with the approval of the mayor to borrow an aggregate […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY, MARCH 24, 2014) — As you likely know, THE PLANET has recently taken up two important items — not covered by any other local media, incidentally — dealing with the Pittsfield School Department. They are important for many reasons, not the least of which […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, FRIDAY, MARCH 21, 2014) — With patience comes reward, and we who have endured this winter can rejoice in the coming of official spring — a leaping tongue of green bloom the calendar has kindly advanced — so that we all may move forward, […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THURSDAY, MARCH 20, 2014) — Pittsfield Public Schools has a zero-tolerance policy on bullying. There also are intelligent microbe-sized beings living under a manhole cover in the 150 block of North Street. These two propositions, the first true and the second unfalsifiable, have about […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19, 2014) — Saint Patty gets all the ink, but St. Joe did all the heavy lifting for being a father to Jesus, and with that, we wish you all a pleasant St. Joseph’s feast day. Incidentally, St. Patrick drove the snakes […]

By DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI News and Commentary (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, TUESDAY, MARCH 18, 2014) — When the bartender calls the cops in to break up a riot at one of the many dives in town, THE PLANET excuses the yawns that follow. It’s like seeing a Level III sex offender walking free in the […]