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PUKELEA: A NEWS ITEM FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE … THE COMMENT LINE IS OPEN

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BY DAN VALENTI

PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY

(FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEEKEND EDITION, JAN. 22-24, 2016) — Yesterday, we beat all local media in breaking the news of Mayor Linda Tyer‘s latest appointments — Matt Kerwood as finance director, Denis Guyer as buildings and maintenance main man, and Michael Taylor as personnel chief. Today, we present a column we couldn’t squeeze in at the time of its coming, but given its prophetic nature, THE PLANET will share it now. Never let a good forecast go to waste, especially when it borders on divination.

To get into the right spirit of our soothsaying, think back to all the wasted public money that went into enterprises that should have been private ventures, with private risk capital at stake — EV Worldwide, WorkshopLive!, Patriot ResortsBeacon Cinema, ad infinitum-ad nauseum. Do that and you will soooo get the following.

——– 000 ——–

** NEWS ITEM FROM THE BORING BROADSHEET, EARLY DECEMBER 2015 **

PITTSFIELD Patrick J. Muraca, the founding CEO of Nuclea Biotechnologies Inc., has left the company to head another biotech firm that will soon be offered to Nuclea’s shareholders. Nuclea’s board of directors has appointed Muraca the president and CEO of NanoDX, a development stage company in Albany, N.Y.

The board has appointed biotechnology industry veteran Donald E. Pogorzelski to replace Muraca as Nuclea’s new president and CEO. Pogorzelski, a former president of Genzyme Diagnostics, and Muraca have already assumed their new roles.

A Pittsfield native, Muraca co-founded Nuclea in 2005. Although he no longer runs Nuclea, Muraca is still the company’s largest shareholder.

Muraca termed his move from Nuclea to NanoDX as a “mutual decision” between he and the board. A startup, NanoDX is a spinoff of Nuclea that is affiliated with the SUNY Polytechnic Institute in Albany.

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——– 000 ——–

THE PLANET took this lame article and rewrote a more accurate version.

** NEWS ITEM FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE,

WHERE NOTHING IS TRUE, NOT EVEN THE LIES **

PITTSFIELD — The board of directors of Pukelea Bye-o Technologies Inc. has thrown its rotund CEO Tambourine P. Morocco out of, then under, the bus. The carpetbaggers sent him 36 miles west to head a crumb company backed by rags, bones, hanks, test tubes, and lots of taxpayers money. Fortunately for Pittsfield, the new company — NoNoNanette XX — is located in Albany, N.Y., a city noted for its stuffed mastodons and Sheldon Silver.

To replace the evidently replaceable Tambourine, the Pukelea board appointed Donjaun E. Pofzxskblswzxklzczski, a former president of Snakeoilzyme Diagnostics. Both Morrocco and Pofzxskblswzxklzczski have assumed their new positions, which essentially consists of wining, dining, and bribi — er, “inducing” —  area politicians and others who control public funds to provide taxpayer dollars for … well, as of press time, no one has been able to say what Pukelea has been doing for 10 years or what NoNo intends to do for the next 10.

Pukelea, for example, has offices in the city on Lakewood Avenue. The office has a lot of desks. Each desk has a chair and a computer. The only people ever seen in the office play video games. Odd, that, since Pukelea is not a video game manufacturer.

Stockholders should rest easy knowing the two “companies” are in the hands of such titans as M & P. Morocco is the kind of businessman who leaves the house in high heels and comes back in flip flops — without ever changing shoes. Pofzxskblswzxklzczski is the kinds of chap that gives Dracula diabetes. When it comes to public dollars, P & M resemble cocks scraping a dunghill for pickle seeds.

In an interesting twist, Morocco will remain Pukelea’s largest shareholder. Talk about having the cake and eating it too. And the rolls, pastries, muffins, and everything else in the refrigerator not Gorilla Glued in place.

Pukelea is said to be moving from the R&D stage to commercialization. Translated into English, this signals upcoming moves to raid the Pittsfield public treasury even more. You know the old story used by many a carpetbagger on the city: “It’s too insignificant to fail.”

In a statement, Morocco termed the moves by the Pukelea board as a “mutual decision,” meaning that he went kicking, screaming, and threatening to eat cranberries for the rest of his life. Cuz you know when they talk of “mutual decisions,” someone didn’t want someone around any longer for Some Reason. Hmmm, wonder what it could be?

Pofzxskblswzxklzczski, who turned 165 years of age this year, said, “I am not quite dead.”

Coulda fooled us.

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We now open The Comment Line. Have a great weekend everybody!

——————————————————————————————————

“It’s our love that you need, / and I’ll try my best to make everything succeed.”George Harrison, “What is Life” from the album All Things Must Pass, (1970)

“OPEN THE WINDOW, AUNT MILLIE.”

LOVE TO ALL.

The views expressed in the comment section or opinions published within the text other than those of PLANET VALENTI are not those of PLANET VALENTI or endorsed in any way by PLANET VALENTI; this website reserves the right to remove any comment which violates its Rules of Conduct, and it is not liable for the consequences of any posted comment as provided in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act and PLANET VALENTI’s terms of service.

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CosbiesLadies
CosbiesLadies
7 years ago

The poor average slob has no chance to get one of these gigs the mayor is throwing around. How do you even qualify if you don’t know someone?

lakeside
lakeside
7 years ago

the problem with plowing are city streets is the needless up and down sharpening the plow blades when there is a total lack of snow or conditions to warrant this practice, the workers are told to eat up time and put in there 6-8 hrs and drop their blades with or without snow or they do not get paid, with a lack of snow this winter one would think there should be a leftover surplus in the pwd account but I guarantee there will be none left at seasons end for some reason… and yes on another subject tony stracuzzi needs to be removed from his position , maybe guyer can get him a job at the perfume company to cover up a smelly history with the city, the guyer appointment also has a fowl smell to it !!!

Johnny Dingo
Johnny Dingo
Reply to  lakeside
7 years ago

There has to be a HUGE surplus in the gasoline, diesel and heating oil accounts. Not to mention overtime for plowing. Also savings on sand and salt so far. Will these monies be returned to the general fund or disappear to be used for shadowy special interest projects?

I hope Mr Kerwood keeps a close eye on this as that is what he might have been hired to do. I think.

Demetrius T. Gladiator
Demetrius T. Gladiator
Reply to  Johnny Dingo
7 years ago

Great point Dingo. There are many of us who thanks to this site have become interested in whats going on w city govt.
Mr Kerwood new finance head please monitor the situation closely, there ought to be huge savings showing up in the budget.

Dilly Dally
Dilly Dally
7 years ago

What we need is a leader from anywhere and have him-her say to the criminals; From Tombstone the MovIe, one of the greatest scenes of all time when Wyatt Earp Announces ” You tell em I’m coming, and Hell’s coming with me”.

Roberto Del Halitoso
Roberto Del Halitoso
Reply to  Dilly Dally
7 years ago

The State Police arrest two guys for heroin. And a dead guy is found behind Lach’s. The dead guy has a drug past. Could area drug peddlers have figured out the guy was an informant? Just a thought but maybe Capeless failed to protect another one.

Change
Change
7 years ago

Patrick larkin was a advocate of giving 400,000 pittsfield dollars to Hancock shaker village, ,because that was important for pittsfield economic growth. ..they redirected this money as soon as they got it….something to do with umass Amherst and painting a building…
People don’t steal our money we just give away…
We bought air conditioning for y he museum,

Roberto Del Halitoso
Roberto Del Halitoso
Reply to  Change
7 years ago

The Shakers invented the clothespin, it’s the least we could do.

spagirl
spagirl
7 years ago

$350,000 …..The Lenox Fire Chief says repairs would give the Fire Engine 10 more years of Life vs. $1 Million for a new vehicle. The cost to repair our truck will not increase taxes nor will it disrupt longer-range capital improvement needs.
Voters at an upcoming special town meeting will be asked to approve funding for major repairs on the department’s ladder truck.
Mayor Linda Tyer……this is democracy!! Why does the Pittsfield City Council Charter take this away from our Citizens. I wish for you to consider Pittsfield Citizens who pay the bills……and …re-chart the Charter This is wrong period.

Johnny Dingo
Johnny Dingo
Reply to  spagirl
7 years ago

What a hilarious suggestion thanks for the Sunday laugh

spagirl
spagirl
Reply to  Johnny Dingo
7 years ago

Said ….Mayor Dan Bianchi and Melissa Mazzeo.

Demetrius T. Gladiator
Demetrius T. Gladiator
Reply to  spagirl
7 years ago

GREAT sugguestion, Mayor Tyer please respond here. What do you think?

Demetrius T. Gladiator
Demetrius T. Gladiator
Reply to  Demetrius T. Gladiator
7 years ago

“suggestion” sorry

Change
Change
7 years ago

Mayor. Tyer is from lenox and I had hoped she was going to institute the forward thinking lenox and Lee have shown concerning how money will be spent…I believe someone should start running for mayor today, yes today and you will be pittsfield s next mayor…just shadow everything she does.

Johnny Dingo
Johnny Dingo
Reply to  Change
7 years ago

They can be the next mayor if their is still a Pittsfield Odds are running pretty much against that Pittsfield will be boarded up by then

and I would like to clear up right here and now that politicians are not the only crooks. Pittsfield just had a murder and two armed robberies within 24 hours

Get on a bus…forget about us ta ta da ta da

Irvin Corey
Irvin Corey
Reply to  Change
7 years ago

Do you even have any idea who ran?

UAlbany
UAlbany
7 years ago

Guyer, Kerwood, Durwin, Suksag, Dohoney, and JLO all have their patronage paid jobs/appointments…A couple more to go (Yon) – where is the diversity ? Not only did the electorate get fooled so did the NAACP – SMH. Doreen Wade please go visit the Mayor –

southeast
southeast
Reply to  UAlbany
7 years ago

what is JLo’s new job? I thought Sackshaug was a dentist?

Irvin Corey
Irvin Corey
Reply to  southeast
7 years ago

Lothrop is Director onf Conversating .

Roberto Del Halitoso
Roberto Del Halitoso
Reply to  Irvin Corey
7 years ago

He’s also No Clew Lew’s sometimes sidekick on “Consider This” where they’re on a quest for truth, justice and the GOBSIG way.

Mr. X
Mr. X
7 years ago

2 more armed robberies at gunpoint last night

painter
painter
Reply to  Mr. X
7 years ago

what are you going to do L T

Dilly Dally
Dilly Dally
7 years ago

So far chicken feed trumps the murder in the Beagle as the big story.

Paul
Paul
Reply to  Dilly Dally
7 years ago

Funny as heck! Cluck, Cluck.

Change
Change
7 years ago

Dilly dally,that is why if you cancel they will throw it in your driveway for free….they already sold the building to scarifoni and that should tell you about their paper printing future….more layoffs. …if you get rid of 100 school dept professional s and consolidate ,those salaries alone will save you 7,000,000 dollars…get principles to walk their building all day,yesterday all day…build a new Allendale, ge pays

Johnny Dingo
Johnny Dingo
Reply to  Change
7 years ago

Not fair!! Pittsfield city govt depends on that paper to keep the voters on the blind and narrow news path. Shucks for them I guess.

But maybe the city can lease the building back from
Scarafoni and use it for storage for all the stuff in the city hall cellar.

Change
Change
7 years ago

Principles should not be allowed.to wear high heels,it’s dangerous and not professional

Irvin Corey
Irvin Corey
Reply to  Change
7 years ago

Which Principal wears heels?

Roberto Del Halitoso
Roberto Del Halitoso
Reply to  Irvin Corey
7 years ago

I think Simonelli used to. He could walk in them pretty well.

Dilly Dally
Dilly Dally
7 years ago

Only on line, change.

Irvin Corey
Irvin Corey
7 years ago

What comes first? The voters having Tyer’s remorse or Tyer having Guyer’s remorse?

Change
Change
7 years ago

Guyer going quit when he finds out how huge the problem is,crosby is a.dump,Allendale is on a dump with pcbs in the air filter when filters test by ualbany…pcb dust in the air0.12ppm ,0.14 ppm

Roberto Del Halitoso
Roberto Del Halitoso
Reply to  Change
7 years ago

He won’t quit. He’s working toward an 80% tax payer funded pension. He has been at the public feeding trough for much of his life…oink….oink.

Pat
Pat
7 years ago

Tricia Farley Bouvier is at it again with her nonsense. Now she is promoting preschool education for 3 and 4 year olds. In my opinion that is way too young to have children in a formal classroom setting. They are still babies and it would be a waste of money. She says it is terrible that parents have to stay home with their children at such a young age if they are unable to afford childcare so she is all for the state stepping in to fix that problem. First of all, is it so terrible that a parent stay home with a child that young and secondly here in the Berkshires there isn’t exactly a ton of jobs for parents to go to anyway so I don’t see this as being a pressing issue for this area. These preschool programs would be nothing more than daycare anyway for children so young, but this would be very expensive daycare.

Roberto Del Halitoso
Roberto Del Halitoso
Reply to  Pat
7 years ago

Yes, several more jobs for the school departments across the state courtesy of the Tricia militia.

Painter
Painter
Reply to  Pat
7 years ago

Parents not being home with there children is part of the reason we have children in trouble.

Pat
Pat
Reply to  Painter
7 years ago

I agree. Three and four year olds should be in a family environment. This just encourages people to spend even less time with their children at a very young age.

Guess what
Guess what
Reply to  Pat
7 years ago

I agree 3 and 4 years old belong home with their parents. That’s why they have Home Daycares; a home environment care. For those that want more of a school setting, then they have Daycares (many of them out there). It’s not the tax payer’s responsibility to pay for your daycare services. If you can’t afford them, then don’t have them. Simple as that!

Roberto Del Halitoso
Roberto Del Halitoso
7 years ago

If anyone suggests that you stop by Lach’s for a few quick shots it is best to decline the offer.

spagirl
spagirl
Reply to  Roberto Del Halitoso
7 years ago

Or Angelinas or Subway. Pittsfield…the size of a pea end to end…. and this continues between. 6pm and 8pm. I really have a hard time comprehending that these armed robberies continue.

Pat
Pat
Reply to  spagirl
7 years ago

We’ve had a murder and two armed robberies just this weekend.

mi
mi
7 years ago

Tyer admi it’s ration off to a flying start with Tammany Hall like hires, robberies, no respect for the police or law. Criminals see a woman Mayor as a sign of weakness. Bias as the rule of thumb for hiring retreads and hacks running amuck in this new admin Amd taxes on the rise is recipe for disaster.