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MAGGIE HYPENATED-LAST-NAME ANNOUNCES RESIGINATION OF PHS PRINCIPALSHIP ‘OF HER OWN (right!!) FREE WILL’

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION APRIL 18-20, 2025) — In Bitchfield, where down is up and over is under, the sinking ship is fleeing the rats. Typically, it’s the other way around, but the city breeds mighty dumb political rats. Seems that The Suits have given […]

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POLITICIANS’ COVERUP IN SCHOOL DEPARTMENT SCANDAL HAS OUTSTRIPPED THE ORIGINAL CRIME

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY APRIL 15, 2025) — The coverup often overshadows the actual malfeasance. Bitchfield’s entire political cadre is about to learn that painful lesson, one that history teaches with eagerness, force, and certainty. Already the cost has been enormous: The continuing erosion of public trust […]

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BOMBSHELLS ON SCHOOL COVERUP AND WHITEWASH: WAS EARLY REPORT SANITIZED AND SCRUBBED? … COUNCIL SPEAKER: ALLEGATIONS FROM 2023 WERE HIDDEN

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION APRIL 11-4, 2025) — Sara “Miss Jane” Hathaway, the overripe failed mayor and old maid Les Miserable, now mucks up We The People’s business as a member of the Bitchfield Ship of Fools known as the school committee … rather, soholc […]

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CHARTER COMMISSION ‘REVIEW’ SET TO FURTHER WEAKEN WHATEVER’s LEFT OF ‘HONEST’ POLITICS IN BITCHFIELD

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY APRIL 7, 2025) — Now that Bitchfield officially stands without a representative city council, school committee, or mayor, the mannequins occupying those offices feel fully free to act unencumbered by Mary Jane and Joe Kapanski. Sure, this has been the case somewhat in […]

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AFTER RUINING THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS, SOCOHL COMMITTEE DESERVES THE BOOT, NOT A PAY RAISE

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION APRIL 4-6, 2025) — THE PLANET looks at the current situation of Bithfield public schools: Level-5 “achievement” 90% of students unable to read or write at grade level Unprecedented levels of scandal Said report on scandalous allegations will be kept hidden […]

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CITY’s DECISION TO KEEP ‘INDEPENDENT’ PROBE INTO PHS SEXUAL ABUSE ALLEGATIONS SUGGESTS A WHITEWASH

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MARCH 31, 2025) — Secrecy. That’s what school committee chair Bill Cameron promises citizens with respect to the findings of the “independent” investigation into allegations of sexual abuse of students at Pittsfield High School. It shouldn’t come as any surprise. THE PLANET called […]

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COUNCIL O&R SUBCOMMITTEE CAVES ON MAYOR’S PANHANDLING ORDINANCE … WILL FULL COUNCIL FOLLOW SUIT?

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION MARCH 28-30, 2025) — They caved, 4-1. You knew they would. THE PLANET speaks of the city council’s jellyfish ordinance and rules subcommittee (O&R), rejecting mayor Peter Marchetti’s proposed regulation to ban panhandling at five key intersections in the city. The […]

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COUNCIL’s O&R SUBCOMMITTEE ON THE HOT SEAT @ 6 PM TONIGHT WITH FIRST CUT AT PROPOSED ‘PANHANDLING’ REG

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MARCH 24, 2025) — Mayor Peter Marchetti’s initiative to ban people from standing in the medians of major roadways, the “Median Safety and Pedestrian Regulation in Public Roadways,” sets up an interesting political situation with respect to the mayor himself and the city […]

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RALLY FOR THE RIFF RAFF … or … REVENGE OF THE BLEEDING HEARTS

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION MARCH 21-3, 2025) — Congratulation, folks. You made it through another New England winter. And on these early days of spring, allow THE PLANET to comment on a recent Sight of the Loons in Bitchfield’s Park Square. We refer to the […]

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THE ABOLISHMENT OF THE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION CAN’T COME FAST ENOUGH FOR STUDENTS, PARENTS, AND TAXPAYERS.

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, FEAST OF ST. JOSEPH, MARCH 19, 2025) — That wailing and gnashing of teeth emanating from the Lair of the Progressives — a parched, forlorn place, that — comprise the notes from a funeral. The corpse, the U.S. Department of Education, died from bureaucratitis. […]

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COUNCIL SCHOOL, COMMITTEE MOVE BEYOND SATIRE WITH DUMB AND DUMBER RESOLUTIONS IN SUPPORT OF TRANSIES AND LBGTQ+

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION MARCH 14-6, 2025) — Let’s see. What does Bitchfield’s “to do” list look like: Repair pot-holed roads Cut city spending Align assessed values with reality Lower taxes Address corruption and waste Clean house in the school department Audit the DPW Attract […]

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DESPERATE DUMBS SPREADING LIES ABOUT MEDICAID … DON’T FALL FOR IT

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY MARCH 12, 2025) — Politicians lie. At every level of government, in every political party, they lie. It’s how they “win” elections and maintain office, often for a lifetime. THE PLANET doesn’t tell you anything new with this observation. We merely point it […]

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ATTHE COLONIAL, A SALUTE TO SEN. MALARKY’s COMBOVER … plus … WANNA CHANGE THINGS REAL FAST IN BITCHFIELD? THE PLANET SHARES THE PLAN

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MARCH 10, 2025) — THE PLANET commends the management of the Colonial Theater for their swift actions following the Dumbocrats Sunday Hootenanny in honor of Sen. Ed Malarkey’s Combover. They hired a fumigator to get rid of the germs so they won’t later […]

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TRUMP SPEECH A BRILLIANT, FITTING TRIUMPH OVER STEWING DEM DUMBS

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION MARCH 7-9, 2025) — In his momentous speech Tuesday to a joint session of Congress, a victorious President Donald Trump lorded it over impotent Democrats in a masterful display of one-upmanship and rubbing it in. The Victory lap was merely the […]

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OVAL-OFFICE EXPLOSION OFFERS WORLD THE ULTIMATE TRUMPIAN MOMENT … or … THAR’s A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MARCH 3, 2025) — The astounding scene that unfolded in the Oval Office Friday gave the world the ultimate Trumpian moment. President Donald Trump brought Volodymyr Zelensky down about 18 pegs in front of the world press, and it was all Zelensky’s doing. […]

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US JOINS RUSSIA VOTING DOWN UN RESOLUTION ON UKRAINE … TRUMP’S NEW APPROACH YIELDS DIVIDENDS, OFFERS BEST CHANCE TO END THE WAR

BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEENEND EDITION FEB. 28-March 2, 2025) — The situation in Ukraine has taken a drastic shift. THE PLANET applauds the change.  First, the Trump Administration has entered into direct talks with Russia. Trump’s style to problems of policy and execution is direct-line communication […]

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