BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE EAST, THE WEEKEND EDITION AUG. 21-3, 2026) –When the La-de-Dah types check out of Nothing on North (NON), that posh hotel that’s busy two months of the year then runs on mysterious fumes the other 10, they’re asked to fill out a brief questionnaire […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (SUMMER FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY AUGUST. 17) — Thoughts whilst bee keeping in Essex: Bang Bang: On Sunday (8/16) at 6:43 pm, Bitchfield witnessed another shooting, this one at Linden Street and Francis Avenue. Early details were sketchy. The PPD tells THE PLANET that three victims were […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE EAST, MONDAY AUG. 10, 2026) — Shards among the ruins: — Spawn of the City: You might know, and if not THE PLANET will tell you, that Frank Kendall III, Joe Biden’s former Secretary of the Air Force, has had his Top Secret security […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION AUG. 7-9, 2026) — It’s a puzzling question, especially as it concerns a political party that once championed ordinary Americans: Why would politicians favor illegal aliens, many of them criminals, over law-abiding citizens? In the Commonwealth, THE PLANET realizes, this is […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (SUMMER FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY AUG. 3, 2026) — On the island, life moves at island pace, especially when it’s private! THE PLANET, though, even when on an idyll, will have spies sending encrypted information via Enigma, hence our comments to start this first full week of […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION JULY 31-AUG. 2) — Veni, Vidi, Fauci. What are we to make of Dr. Anthony Fauci after the good doctor cited his Fifth Amendment rights against self incrimination 111 times to every question put to him by Sen. Rand Paul Senate […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY JULY 29, 2026) — On a recent break from the farm, THE PLANET found ourselves back in the USSR, you know, The Berkshires. We ran into a Bitchfield acquaintance of some political renown who said a remarkable thing: “[The city] is like a […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION JULY 24-6, 2026) — After apple pickin’ on the farm, THE PLANET can look forward to some mighty fine pie. Here are some seeds to plant: It Finally Did It — “An unprecedented cyber incident” … “An attack unlike anything we’ve […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY JULY 22, 2026) — THE PLANET, in a fit of generosity prompted by our honeybees in Essex, send this FREE tip to the assignment editor to the Boring Broadsheet, the rag that in a former life presented itself as the respected Berkshire Eagle: […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (SUMMER FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION JULY 17-9, 2026) — Before we get the B-52 to the primary target, THE PLANET has to mention Biddeford, Maine. The city came into the news for the latest ICE-illegal encounters, reminding us how Biddeford became a running joke here […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY JULY 13, 2026) — Here’s the deal (with shaved cards from a wooden deck): Platner Flatner: THE PLANET prefers Gramham carckers, not Graham crackpot, the dude that radical left Democrats looked to as their answer to Sen. Susan Collins. Well, if the ousted […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY, JULY 6-10) — In honor of America’s 250th declaration as a country, and also to add to the downtime of recent days, THE PLANET shall be leaving the writing to our good readers and commentators. We shall keep The Comment Line […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION JULY 3-5) — First, allow THE PLANET to wish all our readers and commentators a happy Fourth of July weekend. ‘Tis a grand day marking 250 years of the great experiment that is America. Yums: On the day itself, at the […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY JULY 1, 2026) — They chose politics over policy. THE PLANET speaks of the Bitchfield Licensing Board’s five-day suspension of Bei Tempi’s (the former Crossroads) liquor license. The bar will go dry beginning July 6. The board blew it. Yeah, it’s a blow […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY JUNE 29, 2026) — Clearing off the desk, THE PLANET finds many interesting items on our desk here at the Summer Fortress: “End Game“: President Trump once more threatened to annihilate Iran after the mullahs attacked a British freighter in Hormuz and caused […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION JUNE 26-8, 2026) — THE PLANET offers no profundities or ditties for the weekend. Instead, we present an “Off Topic” offering. We shall keep the Comment Line open for you to bring up any and all subjects. In short, by definition, […]
