BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE THE WEEKEND EDITION JAN. 30-FEB. 1, 2026) — With a turn of the calendar page, we turn to the shortest month, another sign of the inevitable approach to spring. Saying that, THE PLANET loves that The Berkshires actually got winter this year, reminding us […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY WARNING: Some good souls of a more sensitive bent might find the satiric nature of certain paragraphs in the ensuing column “offensive” and in bad taste. Please noet that Safe Rooms have been made ready for you at the usual locations. Those in need of urgent care […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE MONDAY JAN. 26, 2026) — When down becomes up, floors can’t be trusted. And lately, the space we all inhabit has tables becoming chairs and doors identifying as windows. At least one thing has returned to “normal.” THE PLANET speaks of the New England […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE THE WEEKEND EDITION, JAN. 23-5, 2026) — If THE PLANET is in the market for a new superintendent of schools, the absolutely LAST person we’d look at would be anyone who most recently held the job of “Chief Equity Engagement Officer/Assistant Superintendent of Equity” […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE WEDNESDAY JAN. 21, 2026) — The city of Bitchfield isn’t being honest about its finances — not that it’s been in the past couple Administrations. After endless harping on the strength of the city treasury, the spendthrifts will blow another $120 million in taxpayers’ […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE THE WEEKEND EDITION JAN. 16-8, 2026) — This Weekend Edition is brought to you by Dis-O-Dent, the toothpaste for Minneapolis moonbats. O, Canada!: Art is born of restraint. It dies from too much freedom. So wrote French writer Andre Gide. The same applies to […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE WEDNESDAY JAN. 14, 2026) — This evening, Bitchfield citizens will be serenaded by the dulcet sounds of the city’s Sochol Committee, whose No. 1 hit “I Wanna Hold Your Scandal” still tops the charts of this $125 million exercise in educational futility. This hullaballoo […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE MONDAY JAN. 12, 2026) — Have you noticed, as THE PLANET has, the “diverse” makeup of most ICE blockers? It shouldn’t surprise anyone to learn that the recently-christened “late” Renee Good and her “wife” (of course, right?) epitomize one of the types: white, female, […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION, JAN. 9-11, 2026) — Ciara Batory, new member of the Bitchfield Sochol Committee, filed a petition during the board’s first meeting. Yeah, she got out of the gates fast. Anticipating the move and desperately trying to keep the lid on a […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE MONDAY JAN. 5, 2026) — Monday at 10 a.m., Hypocrisy Hall on Allen Street played host to the semiannual Black Mass known as Inauguration Day. The coven included the swearing in of incoming officeholders, both newbies and the experienced swindlers otherwise known as incumbents. […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY JAN. 5, 2026) — Legitimate pursuit of U.S. interests or a gross violation of international law? President Donald Trump’s kidnapping of Venezuela’s president and drug king, Nicolas Maduro, has become a litmus test on political ideology, with praise and criticism falling pretty much […]
