BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY MAY 28, 2026) — It’s not just Bitchfield. It’s Taxachusetts: school districts running budget deficits covered by slamming The Kapanskis with sledgehammer tax hikes. In Bitchfield, Mayor Lumpy’s Nirvana of the Nebbishes, not only have taxpayers been cleaned out of house and home, […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND MAY 22-4, 2026) — It seems impossible, after having celebrated Christmas just last week, that we should find ourselves at Memorial Day Weekend. In another month, half the year will be gone. Nonetheless, here we are, with the Berkshires poised for […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY MAY 20, 2026) — Make mine a Harvey Wallbanger, bartender. THE PLANET can’t say for sure how many Harveys get served at the former Crossroads Tavern, now known with the bougie name of Bei Tempi (BT), which is Latin for “swine’s snout.” We […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MAY 178, 2026) — We open with a poem recently published in the online magazine Bardball. THE PLANET has long had an affinity to the misaligned and maltreated, and in baseball, our example stands tall. Don Buddin manned the shortstop position for several […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION MAY 15-7, 2026) — Don’t tell anyone, because you’re not supposed to know. In fact, no one is supposed to know, not even THE PLANET. According to a well-placed source, Guardian, the insurance company at 700 South St., will be will […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY MAY 13, 2026) — There. They had it. So have we … up to HERE. THE PLANET speaks of a Monday night “Community Conversation” to navel-gaze on a manufactured “racial/sexual” incident that supposedly took place in the classroom of Herberg teacher Rebecca Nietsche. […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MAY 11, 2026) — When you place a magnifying glass over a postage stamp, you can make the stick-em as big as a cigarette pack. Put the stamp under an electron microscope, and you’d think you were looking at a picture of deep […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE WEEKEND EDITION MAY 8-10, 2026) — It looks as if folks are beginning to pay attention. Whether it lasts, because history informs THE PLANET that it hasn’t in more than 40 years, remains to be seen. PCTV has had record viewing, and we’ve […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, WEDNESDAY MAY 6, 2026) — Walk into most any store today and you’ll see for sale bric-a-brac, tchotchkes, sundry items, and other dust collectors related to America’s upcoming 250th anniversary — hats, key rings, paper plates, Frisbees, lip balm, even condoms … you name […]
BY DAN VALENTI PLANET VALENTI NEWS AND COMMENTARY (FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, MONDAY MAY 4, 2026) — Peter Marchetti is a walking conflict of interest, serving both as Bitchfield mayor and chair of the city’s sochol committee (SC). The two roles put him in double jeopardy for voting on the school budget while proposing the city […]
